I guess what I am trying to say is I've lost the talent that I think I have - and now had - in writing. The realization came as I was reading a post a colleague made in her blogsite. It was just so well-written that I cannot help but realize that I haven't written such an interesting and promising article in quite a while. As a student, I had been praised for how I was able to put together words and present them in an interesting and in an almost-perfect-grammar way. I rejoiced. I finally have a God-given talent that I can cultivate and be proud of. And that I did.
Despite the negative and discouraging comments I got from my parents who kept on saying that they do not see that passion I have in writing, I kept on with my goal of being a writer. In the journalism school I attended, I studied with much excitement for the realization of my dream. Three years of reading, studying, doing reports, and writing articles and news and I was able to go out into the world with a diploma in my hand and good grades I hope to present to companies I want to be a part of. I was successful in my application as a web copywriter and so I began my quest to become a notable writer in time.
Fast forward to five months after entering the company and my dream suddenly became my worst nightmare. I had been told that my writing style had not been so well and that no improvement was made. I was crushed. I had been so sure that I am at least a good writer and then I have been slapped with the truth - that I need a lot of improvement. Okay, the truth really hurts. I blame myself mostly for what happened. I became so lax thinking that I was doing well and because I got such good grades when still in school. Apparently, I can't use that to defend myself against the truth because in reality, I had not shown the proof of these good grades through the work I was tasked to do.
I began thinking that what my parents told me was the truth - that writing isn't really for me. I had just been told that I was good at creating good articles and I've mistaken it as the career which I ought to pursue. Another slap there. Confusion clouded my mind and I became emotionally unstable. What was I to do? I knew at the time that I had to face this challenge and improve my writing but I just had no courage and motivation to hold on to that time.
It was a struggle to create even just a passable article. I'd like to think that I have been successful in doing that but I know it's a mistake to think that way. If I become lenient again, then I'll just be repeating and repeating this experience until I've learned my lesson. So, I'd like to think that I'm on my way there and that improvement is a never-ending process that I have to go through for the rest of my career life. That way, I'll finally be able to pick up the pins and needles that have hurt me so bad, never encounter and step on them again.
In time I know I'll be successful in fully reconciling with my God-given talent. But as of the moment, I'll continue on improving until I reach my dream. And because I am armed with encouragement from friends and prayers sent up above, I think I'll manage. I will become my dream.
