It's been over half a year now since I've started living on my own and while it's very tiring most of the time, I never really regretted moving out. I've even caught myself saying in the true Austen-language, "It is such a pleasure to run your own home."
When I was deciding to move out, I knew it wouldn't be a piece of cake but I had this vision in my head of me cooking and baking and having a jolly-good time while at it. So with that, I continued my pursuit of finding the best place for me and I did. I moved in and so all the boxes still needed to be sorted out and organized and furniture moved to their rightful place but I was a girl on an adventure. So instead of sighing heavily with all the work that's ahead of me, I just did it. Saying that I was exhausted to death by the end of it is the understatement of my existence. Okay, I'm exaggerating but I was never THAT exhausted. And I slept like the dead that night. By the end of the week, I was asking my mom "How do mothers do it? Do ALL these house chores?" My mom's only reply was, "Add kids to that."
My vision was shattered and replaced with the reality that I have so much responsibility now over my life. Who knew taking care of myself was a whole lot of hard work? Responsibilities that needed to be paid off came in every month without fail and nothing every stays clean in the house. If I wasn't raised by my parents to be strong, I would've ran back crying to them in the first month of my moving out. And instead of feeling sorry that I had a ton of things to look after, I was grateful and I still am. God has never abandoned me and I rarely felt lonely in my place. That's not a front I'm trying to put up, it is the truth. I don't deny that I do feel lonely but it's not enough to make me crumble. Sure, the responsibilities at times overwhelm me too much that I feel suffocated (the reality that I'm in this for life scares me) but these feelings are quick to pass with a a quick prayer and reminder that God is in control. As I always say, "I am where God wants me to be."