It's been over half a year now since I've started living on my own and while it's very tiring most of the time, I never really regretted moving out. I've even caught myself saying in the true Austen-language, "It is such a pleasure to run your own home."
When I was deciding to move out, I knew it wouldn't be a piece of cake but I had this vision in my head of me cooking and baking and having a jolly-good time while at it. So with that, I continued my pursuit of finding the best place for me and I did. I moved in and so all the boxes still needed to be sorted out and organized and furniture moved to their rightful place but I was a girl on an adventure. So instead of sighing heavily with all the work that's ahead of me, I just did it. Saying that I was exhausted to death by the end of it is the understatement of my existence. Okay, I'm exaggerating but I was never THAT exhausted. And I slept like the dead that night. By the end of the week, I was asking my mom "How do mothers do it? Do ALL these house chores?" My mom's only reply was, "Add kids to that."
My vision was shattered and replaced with the reality that I have so much responsibility now over my life. Who knew taking care of myself was a whole lot of hard work? Responsibilities that needed to be paid off came in every month without fail and nothing every stays clean in the house. If I wasn't raised by my parents to be strong, I would've ran back crying to them in the first month of my moving out. And instead of feeling sorry that I had a ton of things to look after, I was grateful and I still am. God has never abandoned me and I rarely felt lonely in my place. That's not a front I'm trying to put up, it is the truth. I don't deny that I do feel lonely but it's not enough to make me crumble. Sure, the responsibilities at times overwhelm me too much that I feel suffocated (the reality that I'm in this for life scares me) but these feelings are quick to pass with a a quick prayer and reminder that God is in control. As I always say, "I am where God wants me to be."
Living on my own has taught me a lot about myself too, both good and bad. And to think I would know myself by now!
- I LOVE grocery shopping it's ridiculous! I tend to buy more food than I need that I end up not eating. Like snacks, I have a lot at home but they're just sitting in my "pantry" waiting to be eaten. I just like seeing it almost full of goodies!
- I absolutely do not like folding clothes. I would leave my freshly-washed clothes in the bin until the time I have no choice but to fold/hang them.
- I actually love cooking. Who knew? It's cute and nice that my Mom now shares recipes with me and would call just to ask me how my dish turned out. We've become friends that way.
- I have to make my place clean and organized. Who knew that I'm actually quite a clean person if I need to be? Growing up, I've always been messy and my mom would always nag me about helping with household chores and especially get me to clean my room. Or maybe that's just how all teenage girls are and we outgrow that when we've become women? Either way, this is a nice and helpful change.
- The only thing that's not always clean is my kitchen sink. No, there's not a pile of disgustingly dirty dishes in it! I just mean that I don't wash my dishes until the next day. I think this roots from the fact that I always do the dishes at home whenever we don't have a maid. So it was kind of a luxury for me to not do it and not be nagged into doing it. Haha!
- If I want any house work done when I get home after work, I absolutely must not sit on my couch until I've done it. Once my ass is on the couch, there's just no getting up anymore!
- I can be quite obsessive compulsive at times when it comes to keeping things in place and organized. Case in point: My friend and I were about to leave my place but before going out the door, I smoothed out my couch, put the throw pillow in place and basically what I saw that was out of place had to be put back and my friend asked, "Is this why you're always late for church every Sunday?" Lol!
- I really like the idea of going out at night to meet up with friends and not having to report it to my parents. Teehee. But that's a given in all of us already, I just like to stress that out.
- It's sad but living on my own has somewhat put my selfishness on a whole new level. It's always about me and what I want and what I need and my problems. That's the one thing that I don't like.It's time I start thinking about others more and it's time I share my life with someone I'd care about more than myself.
That's it! But though there's the "dark" side to living on my own, I still love it and thank God for it and for not letting me feel alone in my place. And I'll say it again, "It is such a pleasure to run your own home." :)