Hi Harry,

It's already been 2 days since you've left us and I hate you for doing that! Why did you give in? You know very well that losing you would make us feel terribly sad and still you chose to leave. You know we love you very much and that you mean the world to us so why give up at the last minute? You even gave us hope that you'll soon come back healthy as just the other day, you seemed to be yourself again and then the next day, you just gave up. You've crippled us, Harry. You are a part of our family and now with you gone, nothing would ever be the same again. =(

I never thought we'd lose you, honestly. I've always thought that you'll be with us for a long time and maybe that's exactly the reason why I sometimes took your existence for granted. I'm very sorry, Harry. Truly, I am. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to see and feel that you're already suffering inside. Had I known that, I would've given you more attention and cared for you more and maybe, you'd still be with us right now. Maybe right now, I wouldn't be just reminiscing the times I played with you while I'm writing this post but instead, I'd be playing with you for real. It would be just like the old times, me calling you and you not responding to my call (hehe), me squeezing your chubby cheeks while you just sit like nothing's happening. Oh, how I wish I was doing that now!

You left so suddenly that you made moving on terribly difficult. But despite that, you've left us with only good memories to cherish. It hurts to think of those happy moments now but hopefully, someday, we'll be able to accept the fact that you're in a much happier place now, watching over us like you've always done and just being adorably cute. And when that day comes, these memories will not bring us tears anymore but paint a smile on our faces.

Harry, thank you for loving us as much as we loved and continue to love you. We will miss you. =(

Don't be sad wherever you are right now, ok? We love you so much...!

Loving you the most,
Daddy, Mommy, Ate Abbi, and Kuya Ced

Along the Green Mile

Monday proved to be a day of realization - it was because of one movie, The Green Mile. I never heard of it before although it's been around since 1999 and I was only given a chance to see it on Monday. I didn't even plan on watching it, my dad just happened to like the movie and told me it was good. I gave it a chance because I had nothing better to do.

Little did I know that as the movie unfolds, I'd be facing a situation that I'd later on label as a traumatic experience. I've only had one traumatic experience in my life and so this counts as the second one. Some of you may already be aware but for the sake of those who are not, I'd try to summarize it as best as I can.

Its story is about a man whose job is to supervise the electrocution of vicious criminals. His career led him to meet a man who was wrongly-accused of killing two girls as he tried to heal them with his miraculous God-given healing power. Unfortunately, he failed and that's when people saw him and so misunderstood the situation. He had no witnesses of his miracles at that time and so he was left with no choice but to accept the punishment. That situation alone is saddening as it is but what made the movie a traumatic experience for me was to witness the "failed" electrocution of someone - it was successful because the criminal died but "failed" in a sense that the other supervising police officer deliberately put a dry sponge on top of the man's head. Putting a dry sponge instead of a wet one will cause torture to the person when he is electrocuted and will literally ignite and leave him sparking and burning in flames. People just watched as he screamed in pain. That time when I was watching it, I felt I was there watching the whole scene unfold and I felt fear and shame as I could not do anything to stop the torture. I know it was just a movie but I guess that's what what trauma does to you - I forgot for a few seconds that I was watching something fictional. And that's also the moment when the realization came.

I realized that somehow, humans tend to be meaninglessly cruel to each other. I say meaningless because we want people who've wronged us to be punished by death when we have no right over that person's life. I'm not being a humanitarian here, all I'm saying is that if we really want to punish someone, then ending his/her life is not the appropriate solution. You just let him rest in peace, and that I think is doing someone a favor. If you really want to let him suffer as much as you have because of what he's done, then have him imprisoned for life. Having him locked up with no hope of ever experiencing the sun against his face is the greatest punishment there is - it's like living with no choice of having any other purpose in life - except to live for the sake of repentance.

How ironic it is that we have the capability of killing someone but no power to bring him back.

It just goes to show that we are tested everyday not to give in to that capability of ending someone's life no matter how much pain he's caused us.

The movie is right - this world is just so full of dirt - envy, lies, jealousy, power-hungry people, money, murders, and so much more. It is already a miracle that we are able to survive such a gruesome place. And our secret? We unconsciously drive these dirt away from us by looking only at the great things in life.

The secret lies in focusing ONLY on the good things in life that make us happy. Never mind these dirt and entertain the beautiful things life offers us and they'll surely decide to stay. That's what I do and they really stay to keep me even happier.

The Sweetest Birthday Surprises

I've never been surprised on my birthday in the 21 years that I've been in this world. I've been surprised with gifts that I didn't think I'd be getting, yes, but not been given a surprise birthday party, yet. Okay, let me cut the introduction and get to the bottom of this! My friends from the office decided to make my birthday extra special and they went out of their way to surprise me a day before my birthday (read: they planned the surprise together with my family and boyfriend)! There! Haha!

What really made it extra special was the fact that they surprised me at our house. I didn't expect them to go all the way to our home sweet home and I was expecting that they'd do it in our office and on my real birthday (Haha expecting! Feelingera! Cause it has already become our tradition to surprise our friends on their birthday). So imagine my surprise when Mike and I got back from running an errand for my Mum and they suddenly appeared singing Happy Birthday and holding a cake (read: frozen for a good 10 seconds and just staring at them like I've seen a ghost! LOL!). That time I was thinking, "They're here. What are they doing here? Sarah, Ico, Ronan, Maje, Anna, Zac," and it took a few seconds before I realized they surprised me. Hahaha! They also gave me a purple tumbler with a collage of my pictures with my friends as the design. Oh well, aren't they the sweetest friends? =D

But that's not yet the end of the surprise! On the day of my birthday, my Web Analytics Family (the sole Junior Business Analyst included) also gave me a surprise Happy Birthday! I was working at that time (I think. Haha!) when someone tapped me on my shoulder and when I looked up, there they were holding a Purple Cake (Ube flavor, yum!) and singing Happy Birthday! They also gave me a pillow which says "World's Sexiest Woman." Haha! =D How true! Haha! Kidding! =P

I need not go into details of the surprise and how I looked like, I'll just let these snapshots do the story-telling of how my 22nd birthday was celebrated. At the end, you'll see for yourself how sweet my friends are and how special I felt on my birthday. =D



Thanks to our official photographer, Ronan, who documented (took pictures. Hehe!) the event. More pics here, and here, and here. =D

Missing Creativity Though Not Regretting

I hate to admit it but I'm kind of like missing writing, writing creatively (that is, if my articles before can be considered creative enough. Hehe). But yeah, I kind of miss my copywriting days here at USAP. At that time, I felt like I was stitching together beautiful words to produce creativity out of something as plain and as dull as say a catalytic converter or oxygen sensor. These car parts are among the hundred automotive parts that I needed to carefully understand in order to come up with readable and, if I'm lucky, interesting articles for online visitors to take notice of. It was difficult, really, as I needed to write something I never knew before existed in car parts! Hehe! But even though that what was I felt most of the time, writing these articles gave me a sense of satisfaction and self-esteem as it juiced out the creativity and writing skill in me. After all, writing was and still is my passion (though it may not be obvious =P) no matter what I write about.

But passion's flame sometimes flicker and for the sake of not letting it completely lose its fire, it needs to take some time off. It needs to be kept in a place where no air can ever die it out. And for people, like myself, who've had a chaotic experience involving their passion, giving it a rest is highly prescribed to preserve the little self-esteem left to them. I need not go into details of my bitter experience as I've ranted about it so many times before, I've already gotten over it. Thank God!

This "bitter" experience led me to pursue another career which to this day I never regret my decision to do so. It opened up another ray of hope for me that I could still do something else (as I clearly thought it would be the end of my writing career and feared that I'd not know what to do anymore) and which has become my newfound passion - Web Analytics. Numbers may not have been my forte as digits and words are clearly from different worlds but pursuing Web Analytics has made me the perfect example that writers/journalists can indeed be friends with Math and its subjects. Hehe! I've tapped the analytical and numerical skills in me but of course, I still can't say that I've mastered them. But I know I'm learning them with the help of Maia, my boss. Each day has become educational as I learn something new and I am able to understand something which I could not have understood before. Each day is a step closer to knowing fully what Web Analytics is all about. Each day has become exciting!

Though I've uttered praises for my new career, it hasn't been all smooth-sailing. My colleagues and I still find ourselves working with a blindfold, hoping we're doing the right thing. And recently, we've come to realize that we're having identity crisis on what we're really doing. But we're positive that we'll someday be able to define what our tasks really are.

Learning it proved to be not-so-easy given my background but it is not impossible, or to put it in a more positive term, it is achievable. Also, with Web Analytics, I felt the weight of my work, I felt my importance to the company I'm working for. But this is not to say copywriting is not important. I know it is though I may not have felt it before. It is actually with Web Analytics that I've come to realize the importance of keywords and keyword phrases which I was asked to write about as a copywriter. However, I'd have to admit that being a Web Analytics Specialist made me feel that my work suddenly makes sense. After all, as Avinash Kaushik, author of Web Analytics An Hour A Day, said of Web Analytics,

"It's sexy, it kicks butts, and is a goodwill ambassador!" (comparing it to Angelina Jolie. LOL!)

Oh and by the way, Avinash Kaushik also only happens to be one of the Great Trinity (as I'd like to call them, hehe) or the founders of Web Analytics! =D

Yummy Holy Week Experience

This year's Holy Week was unlike our family's traditional Holy Week Celebration. If in the past years we go out of town to do our annual Visita Iglesia, we decided to stay home this year, perhaps to stay away from places crowded with people. I hate to admit that I almost forgot the
reason why I (or most of us for that matter) was granted with this 5-day long holiday if not for our seafood fiesta. It served to remind me that meat is not allowed while celebrating the Holy Week. So, while others were busy going to churches praying and doing other religious practices,
forgive us for indulging ourselves in seafood and other yummy treats (hey! We did stay away from meat. hehe!). So let me begin sharing my Yummy Holy Week Experience.

On Thursday morning, I woke up with the smell of choco.. oh wait. No, that's not what happened. I actually woke up in an empty house as my thoughtful family decided to go out without me and without leavng a note telling me where they've gone to. But they did leave something delicious in our table for me to treat myself into - Churos with chocolate syrup! Talk about starting the day sweetly. My mum is fond of taking pictures of meals that she herself prepared(I think she did prepare this breakfast) so here's our breakfast meal.

Churos

After eating, I busied myself with cleaning up the house a bit for my 'rents not to yell at me for waking up late yet again. Hehe! An hour and a half after they arrived and I found out that they went to the Farmers Market to buy fresh seafood for us to eat for lunch and the following days. I was so excited with the thought of fresh seafood (I'm a real seafood lover!) that I volunteered to help prepare our meals for lunch. Yeah, you guessed it (or not), I cooked! I cooked Baked Mussels! I cooked and baked the sauce for the Baked Mussels myself! Yey! So, I present you with (drumrolls please!) Baked Mussels ala Aimee (LOL!) garnished with Parsley leaves on top to give it a distinct aroma and more for presentation.

Baked Mussels

Along with that, we had Mussel soup, Lato (cultured seaweed I think), and Tuna Sashimi! Yey! The meal was just so delicious that I forgot I planned on going on a diet during the Holy Week. Hehe!

Mussel Soup

Lato

Tuna Sashimi with Wasabi and Kikoman Soy Sauce

Friday came and we really didn't cook anything and just ate some fish and veggies, nothing fancy. But my Mum and I busied ourselves in the afternoon with baking Oatmeal Chip Cookies. Mike came for a visit and so he had the privilege of tasting the very first batch of Oatmeal Chip Cookies baked by his Hunny (hehe). When I asked for his opinion, he couldn't help but say the cookies were delicious or else.. Haha! Kidding! But our cookies really tasted delicious since they were fresh from the oven, they had that chewy soft and sweet taste. Yum! I can still taste it in my tongue! Hehe! These were the very first cookies I baked and so my Mum had insisted on giving Mike a jar of our Oatmeal Chip Cookies for him to take home to his mother. Hehe! And his mum loved it as well.

Oatmeal Chip Cookies

Saturday came and we went out to eat breakfast and went straight to Farmers Market again to buy fresh seafood for our lunch in my Lola's house in Antipolo. We had pretty much the same seafood course as last Thursday's and we enjoyed it as much again. We also brought along our Oatmea Chip Cookies for my aunt, cousins and Lola to enjoy as well. And they did! My lola loved it! Yey!

Sunday morning I woke up at the sound of my mum's voice waking me up and telling me to take a bath as we'll go shopping in Trinoma. That immediately woke me up. Hehe! So shopping I did at Trinoma! But since the weather was scorching hot that day, thanks to the summer heat, we bought ice cream on our way home. My mum is fond of presenting our food in a "fashionable" (for lak of an appropriate term. hehe) way and so when we got our ice cream srving, it came topped with marshmallows and a piece of a chocolate chip cookie. And what can I say? Yummy!

Ice Cream topped with Marshmallows and Cookie

Monday was a little bit of a drag for me since I woke up late, tidied my room and reformatted my laptop for the nth time. But thank goodness my parents consider eating good food very important and so we had salad and laing (funny combination thought hehe) for lunch and Pesto-Spaghetti for dinner. And for dessert - Oatmeal Chip Cookies served with warm green tea.

An Open Letter to That Person

Here I am pouring out my emotions once again and hopefully for the last time. Doing this, I hope to deal with the complicated and disturbing situation I've gotten myself into once and for all.

Dear ...,

Some friend you are. In my dire need, I've dared to ask for your help, your comfort, your caring gestures, only to have a door shut at my face. I asked for your help in the hope that you'll show me the same comfort and friendship I've bestowed upon you when you once found yourself in a dark time of your life.

I never asked for your friendship. You came offering it with your own free will. What I only did was what anyone would naturally do - accepted it. Little did I know that accepting it would only bring me to this situation that I never expected of being into. This is all new to me. Perhaps it's the reason why I came close to mistaking it for another thing, one which I dread. But it's a good thing a good friend lent me a listening ear and this issue has finally been cleared.

When things started to change, I tried to put up a wall but that same good friend told me that I should know when to put that wall down, enough to let other people know that they matter to me. That I did. And you could guess what happened next - I've only been disappointed at how you acted. This immediately led me to put up that wall again. And this time, I don't plan on putting it down for you anytime soon. Don't get me wrong. I don't plan on distancing myself away from you, I just don't want to be too attached anymore.

Others may get to the conclusion that I'm the victim in this situation. Perhaps I am, perhaps I'm not. After all, this is just one side of the story. Also, it's because that person doesn't know any of this, oblivious of what is happening to me right now. Another friend told me why fix something when it's not broken? So, I'm really not a victim. Because I think for that person, nothing's wrong, nothing needs repairing. And maybe that person's right. It could be that I'm the only one pulling myself deep into this crazy mess. But this is me. I'm comfortable at being honest with my feelings to the point that it has become my own flaw.

But I'll tell you this. I've always been a person who cherishes friendship so much that I could easily give out my trust and forgiveness without any second thought. And perhaps after writing this, I shall find myself forgiving you again, like I've done a number of times now. Forgiving you for the crime you did not know you committed.

Writing is my way of relieving myself off the negativities I feel. Being transparent at what I feel is what I'm best known for and I'm not ashamed of that. I just don't want to be a prisoner of my emotions.

10 DIVINE LETTERS: FRIENDSHIP --- KEEP IT.

Yuck emo! Charing! Lol!

XOXO (Hehe!)
Aimee

Getting Back to the Old Habit

... of blogging, that is.

I had to deal with learning the essentials of Web Analytics and working as one too that I've had no spare time to blog anymore. But that doesn't mean I'm not a blogger anymore! I may have left my work as a blogger but I'm still in love with it, in love with writing in general. Time may not be of my luxury right now but soon I know I'll have it wrapped around my finger! (Insert evil laugh here. Hehe)

Anyway, it's the end of February and what better way to celebrate it than to be a little nostalgic and reminisce all the laughs and great times that February gave me, right?

So, here they are, my February Memoirs:

* I Started as a Junior Web Analytics Specialist
* Got the increase that I want! Woohoo! (I'm telling you, The Law of Attraction is the best!)
* Celebrated my Hunny Mike's birthday with his friends at his hometown in Montalban, Rizal
* We got that much-awaited "letter."
* Finally went to Tagaytay with Hunny Mike for his post birthday/Valentine celebration. Yey!
* Applied for Sun Postpaid Plan. (At long last! I've been planning this since last year!)
* Started planning with my officemates for our Subic Getaway on April! (Subic sun, here we come!)
* Surprised Kupy on his birthday with two Jolly Spaghetti meals (which, if I may add, he gulped down in single eating. Haha!) and his own "Kupy Cake."
* Balay ni Juan birthday celebration of Kupy. (Vidoeoke and drinks till midnight! Yeah!)
* Met Rica Peralejo. She interviewed our boss about PSP, Xbox, etc. for her segment in Umagang Kay Ganda (which I wasn't able to watch. Too bad!) But you can't deny it, our company rocks the coolest! (Wha? Hehe!)
* Met our "hot boss" from the US. He shall remain unnamed for corporate reasons. Boooo!
* Got my Starbucks planner c/o my Tita Gigi. =D
* Got meself a purple phone casing! Yey yey yey! I so love purple! Oh and Aysa also got me a purple cork/white board! Now, how cool is that? I'm drowning in purple! But don't save me! =P

I just remembered a better way to celebrate the end of February - getting the much-anticipated load of bread! LOL!