"This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Tom Hansen of Margate, New Jersey, grew up believing that he'd never truly be happy until the day he met the one. This belief stemmed from early exposure to sad British pop music and a total mis-reading of the movie 'The Graduate'. The girl, Summer Finn of Shinnecock, Michigan, did not share this belief. Since the disintegration of her parent's marriage she'd only love two things. The first was her long dark hair. The second was how easily she could cut it off and not feel a thing. Tom meets Summer on January 8th. He knows almost immediately she is who he has been searching for. This is a story of boy meets girl, but you should know upfront, this is not a love story."

Just because we are deeply in love with someone doesn't make that someone the one for us.

Now, I don't know how to explain the part where Summer said, "It just happened," or something along that line anyway. We won't know until that happens - that moment when we'll just wake up and know, what we were never sure of with the others we loved. And that's just the way it really is - a magical experience, if I may say so.

"You were right about destiny. You weren't just right about me."

Yeah, we always tend to put the label "He's the one," or "He's the right one" to whoever we're with at the moment as long as we feel that "love." Of course, this is a natural reaction. I mean we wouldn't be seriously dating someone if we don't think it will lead to something better in the future right? But sadly, that's not the way it works. If it's not meant to be, it won't be - this will always be difficult to understand and accept by someone whose heart has been broken. Then we go through that heartbroken cycle, one of the most painful things to go through. And then we just snap back to reality and then understand the bigger picture and finally accept that some things are not meant to be - and it's not always a bad thing. :) I can go on about this, but many of us who've experienced love and breakups already know the drill.

"Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life. May 23rd was a Wednesday."

What day will be mine? I don't know. But that day will come. And then I'll just know. ;)

The Three-Month Ordeal

. . . is over, finally. I can breathe.

As with every beginning, I believe the first three months are the most trying months people have to go through. It's just a relief right now that our first three months here in Richmond are over, now I can only expect great things and opportunities to come our way.

The three months we've been here had been spent discovering this fine city in the midst of Vancouver - exploring city's common places, tourist spots, beaches, parks, great amenities, learning the transportation ways, and getting acquainted with its lifestyle. It was fun while it lasted.

Being in a new place is exciting and refreshing for sure and I love that I came here. But of course, since this meant being away from friends and family I've been with my whole life, it took quite a toll on my emotional health. I was in an emotional imbalance as the days passed by and the homesickness seems to be unbearable at some point. I began to question what I am doing here, is this move worth everything I've given up for? Just regular depressing issues of someone who has moved a thousand miles away from her home to pursue a better life - or in better and shorter term, homesickness gone worst. Well, I regretted thinking that way, after all, I've prayed hard for this to happen. I just thought I was mentally prepared for what I was about to go through. And well, as you can see, I learned I wasn't, the hard way.

But enough, li'l ol' me (emphasis on little, haha!) is back to being the positive me, now that I think the storm's over. Whew! We made it through! :D So, from now on, I can only expect great things to happen and to look forward to. But I'm still thankful for this ordeal, for it opened up an opportunity for me to be closer to God. He really did help me a lot and my relationship with Him improved. I've learned to really trust and have faith in Him and to draw strength from Him. And wow, it worked wonders in my life! It was hard to trust that everything's going to be okay especially when you feel the exact opposite but don't lose that trust and faith in God, and you really won't lose your way. His promises won't ever be broken.

Going through this phase has made me become really appreciative of what I have and everything's that happened in my life. I remember reading this story in a book called Our Daily Bread back in my highschool days, and it goes something like this - A boy and his sister were walking up a mountain and the girl complained that there were so many rocks and stones around that it's getting harder to climb up, she complained that she was getting bruises because of those. Her brother's answer was simple,

"But the rocks and stones are what we step on to climb our way to the top. How are we going to get there if not for these rocks and stones?"

The very answer we're all looking for everytime we're experiencing a rough time in our life. Reading that, I guess that's when I've learned to become optimistic in everything that I experience. :)

"Everything ends well for anyone who believes... in God."

Reflections

The memories aren't painful to remember, for that I'm very grateful. But at this point, I'd rather forget, for my remembering them only creates a longing which I know won't ever be fulfilled.

I've been down this road before and it wasn't an easy path to walk on. The only difference is that this time, I know it'll be easy. The memories that come with remembering are happy ones, the very reason longing's more powerful rather than pain. Though for most longing comes with pain, I feel rather calm and happy that I have those memories to long for, evidence of their reality once in my life.

I've always believed that everything happens for a reason and so when something unexpected happens, needless to say, I'm always looking for its purpose. "It's not fair. It wasn't fair. How could I find this - now, in this eleventh hour - and have to leave it? Was it fair that my body and soul couldn't reconcile? Was it fair that I had to love Melanie, too?" Wanderer's thoughts echoed my own, only it was my heart and mind which won't reconcile and what I love was the idea of escaping to a life less complicated. It's probably apparent what choice I made.

I think too much, a habit I've formed over the years - which I badly needed to end. Working and being busy with a lot of things have cured that for some time, but since I now have so much time to spare, my idle mind has gone back to doing its old habit. But it doesn't really bother me that much, surprisingly. I find it rather comforting now as I am able to reflect on things, get my perspectives right, look beyond the downsides and see something positive, find the inspiration to deal with short-lived depressions, learn to accept the way things are now, and finally realize that I needn't dwell on finding answers. Time will provide the answers, as was always the case.

It is with all these in mind that I can remember and long for the nice things that have ended, without the feeling of loss. But for my sake and total peace of mind, I'd try to forget - slowly but surely.

Grateful

Blogging from Richmond, B.C, Canada! Yey! So my friends keep on telling me to create a new blog or rename this blog Canadian Sanctuary. Haha! Not happening though, I'm an Oriental at heart! LOL!

I'm missing everyone already - Sarah, Maje, Anna, Ico, Ronan, Aysa, Brim, Mapet, Angge, Jer, Noymee (LOL! Wag kayong maingay haha!), Carl (yeah, hugs? haha), Beb, and other USAP officemates of course, Ati Posh! My Dcan Barkada, and last but not the least, the Tropang Times! Thanks thanks so much for the memories we've shared throughout the years and thank you again for making my last days with you guys fun and filled with much happiness! I hope I've left good memories worthy to be remembered and missed. :) You've all offered me kind words as parting gifts and I'm endlessly grateful that I was able to share meaningful moments with you and that my advices are well-appreciated. =') To my Campus Gels, you girls are the sweetest best friends anyone could ever have and I'm so blessed that I was able to be friends with you girls! Thanks so much for the bonding moments, chikahan, coffee sessions, mall escapades, movie dates, shopping and window shopping times, "lunch" talks, food trips, lunchouts, out of town escapades, "bar-hopping" emotes, advices shared, especially the heart-to-heart talks, and everything under the sun that we girls did together! They are all remembered at heart and thank God, captured on camera! We'll see each other again, definitely! I love you Sarah, Maje, Anna, and Myrtle! Thank you for being a part of the person I am today. You might not know it, but you've really made a great difference in me - I've grown more confident, more sweet, more thoughtful, and more outgoing - just because you girls have shared with me your time, the most precious gift of all. *Hugggssss* To Ronan and Ico, thank you for being two of my closest guy friends! If I am to thank you both for one thing, that would be the trust you've both have given me. My heart swells at the thought that you think of me as one person who you're both confident and comfortable to share your thoughts with. I hope you don't regret doing so, hehe! Be happy you two, I wish you nothing but that as you both deserve to experience it to the fullest! *Huggggsss* Aysa, wow, special mention ka! Hehe! Anyway, thank you for the long and heart-warming letter you sent me and the blog you've posted about me. You're right, people may see us just as asaran buddies as we can't live a day without teasing each other but really it's just our way to express our lambing (hard to believe as it is haha). I told you a number of times already but just so the blogigng world knows, you are the "Ate" I didn't want to have! Haha! Kididng! See, I can't help but tease you haha! You're the "Ate" I've always longed to have. It's so easy to pour my heart out to you, you always are willing to lend a listening ear and offer a wise and tumpak na advice. You've told me the sweetest thing - that I bring with me a part of your heart here in Canada, that it's mine and no one can take it away. Thanks Aysa! *Huggss* To Beb, hey, thanks so much for making me feel special! Your intention might not be to make me feel that, but nonetheless it did, so thanks! Salamat sa sudden friendship at sa kulitan! *Huggssss* Ati Posh - salamat sa walang humpay na tawanan! Sa mga nakakalokang usapan at gay lingo na mukhang tau lang ang nagkakaintindihan! We might not always talk to each other and our time together, although short, we haven't forgotten to treasure the friendship formed at People Support. Ati, hold on, Elvin, you, and Momoneng will surely be together always, in due time. :) *Hugggsss* Tropang Times, my college barkada - salamat sa muling pagtanggap. This thanks is already way way overdue but thanks, still. Despite the argument we've had and the differences, you guys still welcomed me back with open arms. So thank you for still making me feel a part of this friendship, and for letting me know that I will be missed. *Hugggss* To my Dcan Barkada, my friends for the longest time. Wow, I've only realized now that we've practically grew together, and yet, we're still here, still laughing and sharing moments together! Salamat girls! For being here through thick and thin! Di man tau always nagkakausap at nagkikita, we were never really away from each other, the friendship remained intact. Distance and non-communication may have weakened it a bit, but the fact remains that the friendship is still there and we're always ready to pick up where we left our friendship off. Thanks so much!! Hugsss* All of your best wishes and prayers that I may be successful here are my weapons and they will surely keep me going. Thanks so much guys! God bless po. Till we see each other again... ='D

Purple Hunt Tour ♥

I was recently introduced to the newest Yahoo craze for Purple lovers, the Purple Hunt Tour, by my friend and I immediately got myself the Purple Ticket. This purple ticket claims to be the key to start off the hunt and win myself some cool purple-glazed gadgets. So, armed with the purple ticket, my friends (who I forced to register to this event, hehe) and I made our way to Market Market, where the first of the Purple Hunt Tour took place. :D

Since pictures paint a thousand words, let these tell the tale of what the Purple Hunt Tour offers purple lovers like meself (obviously :D) . . . and how joyous (yes, joyous, not happy) I felt surrounded by purple everything! :D

Stuff I got from the Purple Hunt Tour

Project Purple Graffiti Wall

I want this purple shirt! This freebie is only available to those who hold the ticket (?) they got from buying Chalk magazine. Of course, being a fan of purple, I decided to buy Chalk but alas, all bookstores had no more stock of the mag! Huhu! :(

We "purplized' oursleves. ^_^V

I dunno why but this horrible-sounding chicken seems to be a star on the event.

The Ultimate Prize - a "purplized" Honda Jazz
I wanted to look like I won that prize but it just doesn't show that. Blame it on my terrible acting. Haha!

Hurt? Broken? Rise again.

I cry when I'm hurt.

I complain when I suffer.

I may seem to have lost my path, but I never give up seeking to get myself back.

I fall, and sometimes even fall hard, but I make sure to stand up gracefully. And when I do, I walk with poise and confidence again.

I look ahead with much hope, ready to conquer and prove my priceless worth.

When I've gained enough strength to move on from painful experiences, I don't look back and regret. And when I've moved on, there's no turning back.

You'll have no one to meet when you decide to return, that's when you'll realize my worth. But too bad I've walked on ahead and you're left to think what could have, should have, and would have been.

As I said, I fall, but I stand up again, gracefully.

I hurt. I can be broken. But I rise again. Because I am a woman, and because I am me.

Recession Blues

What I've disregarded in the past has come back to haunt me - to make me realize the gravity of the situation.

I've shrugged the US recession off as something which I think I won't be affected with, and which I can live through.

Even when my fellow officemates got laid off work, I just felt sympathy, not empathy, something I shamefully admit. I haven't grasped the very meaning of recession and how serious its consequences are to those who've been slapped by it.

Until now...

Accounts of how life in the US is now lived have been shared, together with the painful admittance that relatives can no longer lend a helping hand, even if they so willingly want to. Left without a choice, others have even let go of the hope they've held on to the lands of opportunities and just chose to go back - with the new hope that they could start anew with the bread they've earned through years of odd jobs and hard work.

These things made me think back a second, sent a jolt of lightning my way to awaken me from my happy-go-lucky slumber, and made me come to a realization. It is only this time that I've come to fully understand what others meant of uncertainty in life. Truly, it is more true now that it has ever been.

Depressing as though it may be, the only thing I have against all these is my optimism. I cannot afford to feel otherwise as it will only make things worse for me and for those who've felt the blow of recession the most. I am a The Secret believer and if there's one thing that it taught me, it is that I attract everything I always think of, and that unfortunately includes the ill feelings within me and the things I endlessly rant about.

I must put an end to this. I must go back to practicing that best new year's resolution I've come up with - Stop or lessen whining and just do what I must and be optimistic. Life indeed gets better with that thinking in heart.

So amidst all these crises and global recession, I can't help but feel that change is just around the corner waiting to be found. With all these happening right now, there's no way to go but up, and there's no path to take but the path to a better place...

I bid farewell to this post with a message to one of the most powerful men in the world - US President Barack Obama:

What the others cannot do, that's what you must do...

What the last administration failed to do, that's what you must succeed on...

For the betterment of your country...

And of the whole world.