Time is always that one thing that fascinates me.
Time, as in all things, can either be our friend or our enemy. I guess that's why movies tend to play around with the idea of time travelling. Movies have played with this concept and still, I get
lost in trying to understand how they work it without
changing anything in the past or affecting the future. I guess it only goes to show everyone's unceasing wish to be able to travel back in time and make it our friend, so that we may never need to utter the words "before it's too late."
Time creeps up on us slowly and makes happy memories pass by in a fleeting moment, and sad ones to seem to last a lifetime. It creeps up ever so slowly, gradually chaging everything around us. Dazed by its power, we go on thinking everything's the same, and when we occassionally take the red pill - nothing at all. The surrounding's different, may be good or bad, and we stop to think how we ever made it that far, or that little; what decisions brought us to where we are standing at the moment. Our realities, presents, sufferings, and happiness at one point have become just a season in our lives that we are glad or sad to have left behind. Countless hours with loved ones simply become a moment that's remembered by a memory or two, or three. And sadly, feelings that have been part of our happiest times are left behind, not even preserved in that memory we made an effort to take away. And yet, the sadness that came with our most painful times haunt us to the present day, very much a factor in the decisions we make, the people we let in our lives, and how we treat ourselves and others around us. It is a sad fact that out of all the happiest times we've had, it is that one most painful moment that we seem to get stuck in. Unmoving, we fear change. Frozen, that fear has the power to negate almost everything good in our life.
We've all never had to understand the concept of time as a child but when adulthood came and decision-makings need to take place, we see ourselves chasing time. "Holy cow! It's that time already?!," "Oh my gosh! How time flies!," are some of the things I've heard myself say in times that responsibilites and work start to pile up, and I don't just have enough time to handle everything. And it's absolutely crazy how fast time flies! One moment, we're celebrating Christmas and New Year, the next we're planning our summer vacations, the times in between seem to pass by in a blur, even though I'm sure I've lived everyday of it.
I've had quite a few dawning moments when I realized how with time, my life has changed 360 degrees. The first one was when I went to the states for the first time. My aunt and I we're just watching TV and talking about random stuff that somehow led to the seriousness that is her divorce. And there she sat, tearfully recalling how she had to make that decision to end a 20-something-year-old marriage. It absolutely wrecked my heart to see her hurt like that. And there it is. The aunt that I'm so used to going to for help, asked for gifts and toys, was crying her heart to the little baby she once cooed, to the little girl she once played and had fun with. I see one of my best friends from my elementary school days take care of her two lovely children, see her daughter in a similar situation as her as a child and reality hit me again - before me is her second generation and she is now a mom. Another defining moment was of my mom calling me to ask how the recipe I cooked turned out. The daughter she once cooked food for, she now shares recipes with. My moving out of my parents' house could easily have been another one - had I not been too busy that time unpacking and organizing my life that it left me too exhausted to even think about the gravity of what I did. Nevertheless, when I think about it everytime I'm grocery shopping, I still get amazed at my personal achievements that came with the passing of time and through the path of learning.
I look around myself and see my family and friends I've had since my elementary school days; I see my bushy and grounded-like hair in the mirror everyday - and I think everything is the same. Then I see the new faces and new friends I've come to know; I see God more pronounced and more pesent in my life - and I think, nothing at all is the same.