I've seen so many lists all over the internet of advices on how to keep a relationship going strong and happy - what to do and what not to do. And everyone's digging them and inhaling them - in hopes to remember to apply these in their own relationships or for future ones. I admit to being a fan of these lists when I was single, and even more when I got into a relationship. But however much I read them, I can't seem to retain what's been advised. When I was single, I did it so I know what to do when he finally comes along and when he finally did, I read to check if we're doing the right thing in our relationship, according to what the lists said.
I've shared one of these articles to my boyfriend and his reaction? "Of course. These are all common sense." And he's got it straight to the point. If you're in love and happy and feeling complete (even before your SO came along), then you don't have to consult any list to do what is right for the both of you, you'll just do it unconsciously 'coz it'd be the most natural thing to do. It'll be common sense. You wouldn't have to rack your brain out remembering what to do to keep your relationship strong and happy. You will just do it. When you're in a mature and happy relationship, you'd immediately know to love, respect, forgive, be affectionate, be nurturing, be supportive, and be the best you can be for your significant other.
With this said, a very important piece of advice has almost always eluded these lists, but one's that's been said over and over again - Be happy and complete in yourself before you jump into a serious relationship. You cannot look for or ask your significant other to fill in what's lacking in your life. You both should just complement and be each others' life partner. Getting into a relationship when you're insecure and vulnerable is doomed for failure. Trust me, I've been there. You cannot put the burden on your SO's shoulder of completing your life. You cannot. That is too much burden to bear for them, and when they've exhausted their effort in filling you up, you'd have left a huge hole in them - and that's maybe one you cannot fill.
Be complete, love yourself, be secure in yourself, and be comfortable in your own company, and most of all be ready - before you seriously commit to loving another one. That's the secret to having a happy and strong relationship. (And you wouldn't have to resort to lists to keep your relationship going).
Keep livin' happy! ♥