I'm happy to report that my inner child is still ageless.
James Broughton
This is it. I have reached the Big 3-0! What a blessing! I'd have to be honest though that this wasn't my mindset a week ago. I was dreading it, just cause. When you think about entering a whole different decade, you kind of feel you're being stripped off something and you're expected to act all mature, or at least feel differently. At least that's how I expected adulthood to be. You're more mature and you like things differently. While the latter somehow becomes true, the former is still a question, most times.
I remembered being a teenager and having high hopes of a glamorous put-together life by the time I reach my 30s. After all, didn't we all watch Sex & the City at one point of our lives and saw how fun it could be to be an adult? No rules, and a carefree life of freedom, and have plenty of what we want. It sounded so tempting that we couldn't wait to be "there." To have made it.
And here I am now, a proper adult. Am I more mature?
I know I like things a little differently now. I like my coffee black when all I wanted were sweet three-in-one instant coffees before. I like wine now when I used to chug beer back in college. I have learned to appreciate red wine now when I only ever drank white before. I've learned to eat a little healthier now and am now more conscious of what I put into my body when I used to eat like a carpenter, carb-loading everyday. I get happy when my place is clean now when my mom had to drag my feet up just to make me clean my own room. I like staying in more now when I'd be eating out every night with friends if I could before.
But do these make me more mature? Sure, I guess.
However, I still hold on to my Japanese animes when I'm down. I've recently gotten back to playing Sims 4 as they've added so many features that are so exciting to play and try out. I still read light romance novels. I still love Disney movies. My work desk is cluttered with pinks and purples, and cute pens, mugs, teacups and toys. I still wear purple contacts everyday. I still get stuffed toys for a gift as Nicholas says with a smile, "Don't ever let anyone tell you you're too old for stuffed toys."
So yes, I'm still very much child-like. And my high hopes for a glamorous put-together life with plenty of what I want?
I go day by day. I used to care for what I'd wear to work the next day, planning it the night before, but now I wait till the very moment I get dressed. The weather may be a big factor to that, but I know I still be like that even if it weren't for the weather. I plan to get up early mornings to get a workout done or just to feel productive for the day, but I end up sleeping in and getting that much-needed shut eye (even if it really isn't that needed). I'm getting married next month and I still have absolutely no idea how everything's going to come out as half the stuff that need to get done are still not!
Plenty of what I want?
Sure, I've got all the nice bags and shoes and all the cameras I could have right now. But time has become scarce. I've got these cool and creative cameras but got no time to shoot or learn to utilize them to bring out my own creativity out of them. I've got all these nice bags but you only really need a few, to be honest. I've got really nice heels but I'd rather wear nice comfy shoes these days. I've got all these cameras to capture special moments with and I forget to take some because I'm having too much of a good time with the company I'm with, that we don't remember to even take a couple of seconds to snap some shots. And if you take into account the fact that we'd have to schedule everyone in just to all be in one place at that time, you kind of just want to be in that moment instead of framing shots all night to make it look like you're having fun. You kind of just take a mental picture. (But of course, I still want to take photos in case there would be a time I'd have a hard time remembering these moments, and because I paid a ton for those cameras!)
Do I sound regretful or unhappy at how my life is now? I admit I have a few regrets of being a little bit materialistic at some point. People these days like to say they don't regret anything in their life as it's made them who they are. I probably have said that at one point too. But I do have some regrets, that I didn't do stuff another way or better. I can say that I don't because I've moved on and I have learned from all my past experiences. If you don't take away anything from those happy and sad moments, then that's the only time to be fully regretful.
Does it seem like my life is boring? That's because I didn't elaborate on the moments in between that truly make my life. The random dine out and coffee dates that have deepened friendships, the staying in at nights that have calmed our world around enough to hear each other out, the quiet walks and picnics under the sun that have reconnected us to nature and affirmed that which we only need a hand to hold and a heart that understands to feel safely secure, the camp outs and beach days that have detoxified us off the toxic and digital world, the quiet time and nooks we've gone to to read good books - these are the moments that make life.
So yeas, I can say with all of my heart that I am happy and my life so far has been filled with such great blessings. As I always say, I am where God wants me to be.
On to the next great adventures!
Keep livin' happy! ☺