I grew up loving Cinderella, romantic comedy movies or any love story with a fairy tale resemblance happily ever after ending. Hearing stories of how couples I know met and eventually ended up together warms my heart, and gives me hope that one day, I'll have mine to share.

While Nick and I's love story wasn't born out of long courtship that spanned from childhood, or that he saw me across the room and was besotted with my smile - it is ours to share and smile upon. And that makes it the most beautiful love story I have ever heard.

Of Familial Blessings

 

Once in a while, God gives you something so great that you never thought to ask for before - and you're left to wonder how He knew to give you a blessing as amazing as that which you've just received. You can only smile and utter many thanks, that He saw you deserving of such a wonderful gift. 

That's how it was for me when I got to be part of Nick's wonderful family. When I prayed for Nick, I didn't think to include 'great family background' as part of my 'requirements' for my man. And I was very specific when I created that list. I did write though that I wanted him to be family-oriented. I love my family so much and enjoy spending time with them, so I hoped my man would also get along with them. And yes, he did, so well it's amazing. God works wonders, I tell you! Just keep on praying, hold on to your faith, and trust in His works and perfect timing.

That Day Came. And Then I Knew

What day will be mine? I don't know. But that day will come. And then I'll just know. ;)

Almost six years ago, I wrote that in this blog. I had no idea when that day will come, or if it will ever come at all, but I've never lost hope that I will one day find him. You see, when I wrote that, I wasn't in the best time of my life. I needed to assure myself that just because it failed for me once, love will never work for me. Love happens to anyone and that gives me great hope that it will happen to me. I won't say that my hope has never faltered because it did. But my hope was grounded in the knowledge of who God is, steadfastly rooted in His love.

"Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life. May 23rd was a Wednesday." - 500 Days of Summer

It was a sunny Sunday in March.

I Connected The Dots And Saw God's Plan

Inspired by the speech given by the genius Steve Jobs during the 2005 Stanford University Commencement Exercise, I looked at my life to see if I can somehow connect the dots - from as early as I can remember to today. There wasn't really any significant event jumping on to me which gave me God-did-this-He-is-so-amazing-goosebumps moment (does this make sense?). It's probably because I've lived my life already knowing that God's hand is actively at work, whether I am aware of it or not, He has never stopped in giving aide. Like some sort of taken-for-granted knowledge, I need not acknowledge it, but it will remain a fact. I already know everything is God-given. So I stopped looking for that Godly-moment in my life.

Later that evening, I talked with a friend who's having a hard time right  now, getting stressed out about a circumstance in her life that she so wants to be fixed. As I was giving my advice (helpful, I hope) about how she needs to face this, being her voice of reason, I was hit with an epiphany which of course I shared with her.

Oh hey, 2011!

I've been MIA again but surely December and January are valid enough reasons as to my absence in the blogosphere. The end and first of the year always puts everyone scurrying about different places trying to get things done and going, and always, always coupled with a full-blown reflection of what life's been in the passing year, and evaluation as to how to make the coming one better. Gone is that seasonal emotional hulabaloo and as I've done my fair share of evaluation on life, I think I've come to terms with what I want to do for the rest of it.

It was the renewed passion, now burning more than ever, which has awakened much inspiration in my life to have a goal, see the bigger picture, and pursue it. I must have thanked God a thousand times already for giving me this goal and also for pleading for help to be with me as I work on it. And He has heard it and given me an assurance in this: "Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:6). Ah, how sweet it is to be loved by Him! It is simply amazing, I tell you. It blows my mind to see my goal sort of go in the right direction, to see a vision of what could be, if God wills it to. I just recently experienced a moment like that and I was like, "Oh my gosh, He really is at work here!" I immediately told my Mom about it and she said that I only have to want it so much and everything will work out. It is a true story folks that wanting it so much in your heart and praying for it fervently will produce results that'll surprise you. Now, this dream isn't a fast and the furious journey. It'll take time, perhaps a year or two, before I can harvest anything but the journey to my pursuit of it excites me too. When all is well and done, it will be one of my greatest testimonies for sure.

Reflecting on what my life's been like last year resulted in me removing some depression-triggering stuff. We all have that, right? Stuff we do that seem to put us on a high at the moment but then zaps us into somewhat Dr. Phil sessions where we wonder again what life is about and what our purpose is in this world. Tiring, no, exhausting, is what it is to be always going back to that state. With me it's not so much a depression, but more like because of the things that I continuously do, I forget to live in the here and the now (I've pondered about this lots of times!). At the end, I find myself in a slump as I've neglected a lot of responsibilities and my room is such a bloody mess, it feels like I'm starting my life over again. Jeez. It is so unhealthy. Why I keep on doing that beats me. I must be really just an idiot. But oh well, I'm organizing everything now up to the schedule of my daily crunches on my Pilates ball (haha, yes, I get reminders to do it). I'm extreme, I can be really OC with my schedule or I'd have that "the-hell-I-care-attitude" at times. It's driving me insane, too, not being consistent with this. I'll just always pray for Him to be with me everyday, whatever I'm doing, wherever I am.

You can tell I'm having a good day, eh? I'm rather talkative today, it must be because I'm having a good hair day. Let's all admit it, we women feel great when our "crowns" are just the way they should be. (Lol) No doubt I'd still go through "the dreaded moments" (y'all know what I'm talking about) but I know it'll pass, it always does. I'll just talk it out with Him, He'll comfort me in His arms and I'm back on my feet again. Plus, I'd just look forward to little stuff that excite me, that always does the trick! 

A Moment of Weakness

Admittedly, hard as I try to positively look forward to the future, I still have my moments of doubt.

Growing up, I've been taught the cruel "reality" that if I am too happy today, then I'd be sad tomorrow. Life's worth of happiness is so limited that we'd ought to be careful when and how much to feel it, so they say. To me, that's just cruel. Does this mean that I am always to dread the post-effect of my happiness? That we can never be truly happy without having to think of what will come next?

I'd just recently been overwhelmed with happiness and gratitude to my Father that right now, I'm not feeling sad, but dreading what unfortunate thing will come next. This is no good a habit and must be totally rid off. It is during this vulnerable time that I think and ask, "Where will life take me?"

At twenty-four, I am actually pretty blessed - my family's with me, I live in such a beautiful place, I am starting to establish a grounded relationship with God, I have a good job, friends surround me, and I have friends back home who never forget to communicate and tell me I am missed. Life is good. God has always been good. This kind of life was just a distant dream before. I remember just imagining living in Richmond and telling my friends how it is here, driving around the city in my own car, having the things I've dreamed of - and here I am actually living all these. It is amazing how dreams can come true. Of course, that is not to say I didn't like it in Manila. I loved it there. It is a big part of who I am, helped give me friends that I will now treasure for the rest of my life, and taught me life's lessons I couldn't have learned any other way.

As I write this, an epiphany hit me, it's like He spoke. I am only 24, it is not the end of the world. I am just beginning my life-long journey. I need not know where I will be going, I only need to know that my Father is in control. I am in good hands and will always be. It is written:

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the Lord. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."

                                                                                                                             Isaiah 55:8-9

As I've said before, "I am where God wants me to be." His will brought me here and I will continue submitting to Him. Definitely, God's way.