Time is always that one thing that fascinates me.

Time, as in all things, can either be our friend or our enemy. I guess that's why movies tend to play around with the idea of time travelling. Movies have played with this concept and still, I get lost in trying to understand how they work it without changing anything in the past or affecting the future. I guess it only goes to show everyone's unceasing wish to be able to travel back in time and make it our friend, so that we may never need to utter the words "before it's too late."

Time creeps up on us slowly and makes happy memories pass by in a fleeting moment, and sad ones to seem to last a lifetime. It creeps up ever so slowly, gradually chaging everything around us. Dazed by its power, we go on thinking everything's the same, and when we occassionally take the red pill - nothing at all. The surrounding's different, may be good or bad, and we stop to think how we ever made it that far, or that little; what decisions brought us to where we are standing at the moment. Our realities, presents, sufferings, and happiness at one point have become just a season in our lives that we are glad or sad to have left behind. Countless hours with loved ones simply become a moment that's remembered by a memory or two, or three. And sadly, feelings that have been part of our happiest times are left behind, not even preserved in that memory we made an effort to take away. And yet, the sadness that came with our most painful times haunt us to the present day, very much a factor in the decisions we make, the people we let in our lives, and how we treat ourselves and others around us. It is a sad fact that out of all the happiest times we've had, it is that one most painful moment that we seem to get stuck in. Unmoving, we fear change. Frozen, that fear has the power to negate almost everything good in our life.

To-Do List

Study.

Read the Word.

Work.

Wall decor.

Write. Or blog.

Inspiration comes in the evening (late at night when I should really be sleeping) and I get giddy with excitement to start doing the things I want to do. Inspiration comes at night and I forget sleep (or rather I can't) as I want to do everything all at once. Inspiration comes when I drink coffee. High with caffeine (like right now), I start wanting to read the books I have at home, borrow more from the library (seriously), and think of topics (and their post title) that I can write about in my "active" blogs - about three now.

Flying Solo

It's been over half a year now since I've started living on my own and while it's very tiring most of the time, I never really regretted moving out. I've even caught myself saying in the true Austen-language, "It is such a pleasure to run your own home."

When I was deciding to move out, I knew it wouldn't be a piece of cake but I had this vision in my head of me cooking and baking and having a jolly-good time while at it. So with that, I continued my pursuit of finding the best place for me and I did. I moved in and so all the boxes still needed to be sorted out and organized and furniture moved to their rightful place but I was a girl on an adventure. So instead of sighing heavily with all the work that's ahead of me, I just did it. Saying that I was exhausted to death by the end of it is the understatement of my existence. Okay, I'm exaggerating but I was never THAT exhausted. And I slept like the dead that night. By the end of the week, I was asking my mom "How do mothers do it? Do ALL these house chores?" My mom's only reply  was, "Add kids to that."

My vision was shattered and replaced with the reality that I have so much responsibility now over my life. Who knew taking care of myself was a whole lot of hard work? Responsibilities that needed to be paid off came in every month without fail and nothing every stays clean in the house. If I wasn't raised by my parents to be strong, I would've ran back crying to them in the first month of my moving out. And instead of feeling sorry that I had a ton of things to look after, I was grateful and I still am. God has never abandoned me and I rarely felt lonely in my place. That's not a front I'm trying to put up, it is the truth. I don't deny that I do feel lonely but it's not enough to make me crumble. Sure, the responsibilities at times overwhelm me too much that I feel suffocated (the reality that I'm in this for life scares me) but these feelings are quick to pass with a a quick prayer and reminder that God is in control. As I always say, "I am where God wants me to be."

I Connected The Dots And Saw God's Plan

Inspired by the speech given by the genius Steve Jobs during the 2005 Stanford University Commencement Exercise, I looked at my life to see if I can somehow connect the dots - from as early as I can remember to today. There wasn't really any significant event jumping on to me which gave me God-did-this-He-is-so-amazing-goosebumps moment (does this make sense?). It's probably because I've lived my life already knowing that God's hand is actively at work, whether I am aware of it or not, He has never stopped in giving aide. Like some sort of taken-for-granted knowledge, I need not acknowledge it, but it will remain a fact. I already know everything is God-given. So I stopped looking for that Godly-moment in my life.

Later that evening, I talked with a friend who's having a hard time right  now, getting stressed out about a circumstance in her life that she so wants to be fixed. As I was giving my advice (helpful, I hope) about how she needs to face this, being her voice of reason, I was hit with an epiphany which of course I shared with her.

A Visit To Whytecliff Park

It was another good sunny day a week before, on a Sunday - too good to waste lazing inside a house. And so like what we've been doing the past couple of sunny weekends, we decided to set out early morning for a drive to Whytecliff Park in West Vancouver. It was a good hour drive from Richmond (ok, that's just my estimated time) and so we got there at a good time, when the sun's rays still wasn't harmful to the skin.

Like all parks or lakes that we've been to, it was quiet, and surprisingly so, not much crowded. There were a few families and some recreational group of friends who went there to scuba dive. The park is surrounded by the Horseshoe Bay, near the BC Ferry Terminal, where you take ferries to go to Vancouver Island. So seeing a speedboat or a jetski in the waters comes as a no surprise. Of course, there's also the occasional BC Ferry ride which would startle the calm waters and send big waves to the shoreline for a couple of minutes. Other than that, it was a really calming place, quiet and reserved.

Blossoms at Buntzen Lake

Some Fun Out In The Sun

Excuse me for the very cliche title, the summer heat seemed to have parched my creative juices. But never mind that, what's important is we have summer heat! Lol! Allow me to explain - we've had quite a gloomy start of the summer that everyone out here in the west thought the sun wouldn't be too present this season. I'm not kidding. For weeks at the start of summer the forecast was variably cloudy, showers and chance of rains - it was mid-July and we're all wearing jackets and have umbrellas over our heads. Summer bummer indeed. 

It was a funny sight too, I remember we had our annual company picnic, it was the 22nd of July and we were out at the park around 12 noon, wrapped tight in our jackets and wishing we could make a campfire. Haha! And one of my co-workers, upon arriving commented, "So it's a beautiful February day." That gave us all a chuckle. 

On to the adventure....

The first long weekend of the summer came and it was a bit cloudy. But because there was no forecast of shower, we set out to Delta and picked strawberries! It was both fun and tiring. It was fun hunting them big red strawberries down and tiring because we had to bend down to pick them. I felt so old because I suffered leg and lower back pain after. Haha!